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Articles On Blaming
How we can resolve conflict

Playing with the big kids

Conversation

The power of information

Never assume?

How We Can Resolve Conflict
by William Frank Diedrich

Two women in the same workplace are convinced each other is a bad person. Gena claims Cindy is careless and doesn't do her job. Cindy claims Gena is critical and bossy. Mutual blame prevents them from working together. Their continuous conflict negatively impacts other employees, hurts productivity, uses their manager's time, and creates a reputation for their department. Both women say they want a peaceful, productive, and positive workplace. Both claim that it is the other person who prevents that from happening.

They see each other as "the enemy", but where is the real enemy? It is within themselves. Neither can see how their blaming impacts the other. Both feel completely justified in treating each other with disrespect. They have a strong emotional reaction to each other's behaviors. They consistently assume the worst about each other. As long as they are caught up in the blame game they cannot see each other.

Whether we are talking about wars between nations, groups, or individuals, blaming takes over our emotions. Unless we become willing to self reflect, to acknowledge the insanity of blaming, we are stuck in conflict. In blaming we think the other side is at fault, but the reason we cannot resolve the conflict is found in the blaming itself. We must move beyond blaming.

These first three paragraphs are quoted from my book, Beyond Blaming. How do we move beyond blaming when we are in the thick of it? The first step is to realize the insanity of this kind of conflict. We have to ask ourselves: "Where will this kind of thinking take me? If I am convinced I am right and the other person is wrong, is it realistic to think that they will change?"

When we are deep in conflict, it is difficult to see ourselves. We are so busy convincing ourselves, and anyone else who will listen, how right we are that we fail to notice how wrong we are. We believe we are virtuous. Truly virtuous people do not know they are virtuous. Those who believe they are virtuous usually become vicious. I have seen people who think themselves virtuous do horrendous things to others. They justify their acts with the thought that the other person deserved it. This is insanity.

Once we recognize that we are thinking insanely, we can begin to change. The second step is to ask ourselves: "How am I impacting this person? How does this person experience me? What is it like for this person to work with me, be with me, listen to me?" When we start getting answers we are often disappointed in ourselves, if not horrified at the results.

Another story I tell in my book is about my own inability to understand my impact on others. Fortunately for me, my manager gave me the news. He explained to me how my sarcastic humor was impacting others in a negative way. I was horrified at myself. I immediately changed and stopped using negative humor with others. My relationships improved immediately.

It seems that our most prized possession is our self image. A self image is like this: "I am the sort of person who ______". You fill in the blank. A woman once told me: "I'm probably one of the easiest people in the world to get along with. If she can't get along with me than something is wrong with her." If I see myself as one of the easiest people in the world to get along with, I will be resistant to any information that contradicts this image.

Your image is not you. It is something you made up. A person who is truly easy to get along with would be willing to listen to another person who finds her disagreeable. If you want to get along well with others you have to give up your self image. Don't worry about being "the good leader" and just listen. Don't worry about being "the good parent" and just listen. Truly good leaders worry less about their image and focus more on just leading. Truly good parents stop thinking about whether or not they are good parents and just respond to their children in the best way they can in the present moment.

The problem with images is that they take us out of reality and into ourselves. Your defensiveness with another person is not about them. It's about you. All conflicts are in your mind. We imagine that they are out there, but they are really "in here." This is a tough one to swallow for most people, but it is the most empowering thought you could have. If the problem is "them", you have no power. You find yourself resorting to force, either aggressive or passive-aggressive. If the problem is in you, you have the power to change it. In my example about my sarcastic humor, I saw people around me as somewhat unsupportive. I saw this as unfair because I was the kind of person who got along well with others. When I changed my attitude and behavior, others suddenly became supportive. I was able to hear my manager because I was willing to set aside my image as the easy to get along with guy.

This is not to say that any conflict you are in is your fault. To shift from blaming others to blaming self is not much of an improvement. In life, people enter our experience and they push our buttons. In truth, they only reflect something unresolved in us. During the course of writing this article I found myself embroiled in a conflict of my own. I was angry and so was the other person. I believed I was right and the other person was completely unreasonable. My body was tense with emotion. My mind was filled with blaming thoughts. At the same time, I knew that I was caught up in the blame game. I gave myself some time and frankly, I prayed for help in seeing things from a better perspective.

Regardless of whether I was right or wrong I knew three things: 1. I cared about this person; 2. I wanted a resolution; and 3. All blaming (including mine) is a distortion of reality. My self images were being challenged and I had to give them up. In this case it was: "I'm the kind of person who takes action (not a procrastinator)." I stopped worrying about the image and took action to resolve the conflict. When the opportunity arose, I apologized for my behavior. The other person apologized, too, and the tension immediately lifted. We were able to move on.

Sometimes, when you are caught up in being right, you have to look at what you are doing to yourself and others with your negative thoughts and emotion. This kind of conflict is like putting your fingers in boiling water. It hurts, but for some reason we keep our fingers there. There were several instances where I intentionally lifted my fingers out of the hot water--lifted my thoughts off the hot situation and thought about something more uplifting. The more we allow our thoughts to go around and around about how wrong or unfair someone is, the more uncomfortable we feel. Personally I am no longer willing to tolerate ongoing conflict. I create the intent to resolve it, change my thoughts, take action, and I move on. This isn't easy, but neither is staying in conflict.

Our ability to self reflect moves us beyond blaming and into a powerful position. As powerful people we know that we can impact the world simply by being who we are. By refusing to blame others and refusing to blame ourselves, we are free to respond to whatever is happening in front of us. We have to step outside of defensive thinking and see how we are impacting the situation. We need to ask ourselves what we want to come of the situation.

We must stop waiting for others to change and focus on being the changes that we wish to create. To have peace, I must think peace. To have joy, I must think joy. To get along with others, I must become sensitive to their needs. To receive respect, I must give it. Each of us has a tremendous amount of power to change our lives. We can claim this power or not. When we are willing to stop blaming, and see ourselves and others honestly and with compassion, we move from hurting to healing, from blaming to blessing, and from victim to victor.

William Frank Diedrich is the author of three books. He has just released
Beyond Blaming: Unleashing Power and Passion in People and Organizations. To learn more about Bill, his books or to purchase his books go to www.noblaming.com
or www.transformativepress.com

In my coaching work I meet people who want to have more influence where they work. Recently, I coached a Human Resource professional who wanted to create more teamwork between departments. In order to do this she needed to have more influence with senior vice presidents in the company. Senior VP's report to the President, and she reports to one of the VP's. I told her she needed to become a senior VP. Since she will not be instantly promoted, she needs to promote herself.

By "promote" I don't mean she has to sell herself to anyone. If she wants to influence senior VP's and the president she needs to become one of them. She needs to see herself on their level. She needs to walk, talk, and act as if she is on that level. Her response was that she sees the president and her VP as above her. In her mind they are "better" than her.

Organizations have hierarchies, and we need to respect them. At the same time, we need not perceive ourselves as less than someone who has a higher rank. As long as we see ourselves as smaller, our influence will be limited. If you want to play with the big kids you have to start being one of them. This means telling yourself that you deserve to walk along side leaders in your organization or in your field and treat them like people, not icons.

Those who have risen to high levels of achievement deserve our respect and admiration, but not our worship. People with fame or position power are still just people. They put their pants on the same way you do. If you want to create more success for yourself, whether it be higher rank in your management hierarchy, excellent achievement in your field, or being a major influencer, you have to start being it now. You have to convince yourself that you are worthy to walk along side the movers and shakers of this world. You must treat yourself as a valued person. You must see yourself as already at that level.

The major barrier to becoming one of the big kids of the world is the payoff we get from playing it small. As long as we see ourselves as smaller than others we can be safe--safe from responsibility; safe from criticism; safe from having to make important decisions; and safe from the high expectations of others. When you are a big player more is expected of you. In public, you are always "on". What you say gets more attention. As a worker, you could complain to your coworkers and it wouldn't be considered a big deal. As a manager, if you complain, you'll probably be quoted to others. As a person on the street you can complain about whatever you want. As a community leader or as a public personality you'll find yourself quoted, or misquoted in the media. We are always responsible for our words and our actions, but when you're a big kid, the impact is much greater.

As people, we stifle our own success because we fear it. We fear the potential negative attention, the new higher expectations others will have of us, and the potential of public rejection. Whenever you put yourself in a position of leadership you risk criticism, rejection, and condemnation. This is why so many people don't speak up when it counts. We disagree with our manager, but we don't express that to him. Instead we tell someone else. As a new big kid, you have to find your voice. Speak your truth with authority, confidence, and compassion.

I believe we are all here to become big kids. We are here to express our true nature, our gifts and talents, our desires, and our innate worthiness. Our first step is to know who we are, to be clear about ourselves. Who am I? What do I want? What do I believe? What do I value? Once I begin to understand these things about myself I can start being them. I can start trusting who I am. Who I am doesn't need to change when I walk through the doors of my workplace. It need not change when I am standing near an admired person.

We add to who we are by increasing our knowledge. Passionately study your area of interest and become knowledgeable and articulate about it. This adds confidence to your voice and helps you to speak with authority. If you have knowledge and good instincts about your profession or area of study there is no need to be tentative. The only caution here is to remember that there is always something more to learn.

As you learn to value and appreciate yourself, as you find your voice, and as you gain confidence, you can extend it to others. Rising to higher levels of success and achievement is not about taking a trip on the ego express. It's about recognizing that the value given you by others is based on the value you give to others. We are here to serve others. Our focus is on what will create the highest good for all concerned. This goes beyond being a mere celebrity. It's about making a difference. It's about people feeling blessed because they received something of value from us.

As a big kid you need to shift from a focus on your own needs to a focus on the needs of others. Others need respect and to feel important. Listen to them. They need sincere recognition for their efforts. Offer your praise for work well done. When you step outside of yourself and extend your good will to others you become more important to them. At the same time, you have to let go of the negative opinions of others. Learn from criticism, and turn within to your own sense of self, your own instincts and knowledge for guidance. You need not focus on impressing others. Learn to believe in yourself and the awesome power within you.

So what do you think? Are you ready to play with the big kids? Are you ready to express the greatness within you? Are you ready to move up to the next level or higher? Someday never arrives. Now is the acceptable moment to begin. There is greatness within you. When you rise to that higher level remember this: the truly great help others to recognize their own greatness.

William Frank Diedrich is a keynote speaker, workshop leader, coach, and the author of three books. His books include The Road Home, 30 Days to Prosperity, and the newly released Beyond Blaming: Unleashing Power and Passion in People and Organizations. To learn more about Bill , his books, and his services, go to www.noblaming.com

10 Top reasons for considering William Diedrich as a speaker or workshop leader.

1. You want to further inspire and develop your leadership team.

2. You want to help your employees move beyond blaming and to take more responsibility and ownership.

3. You want to help your staff understand and appreciate diversity and lower their tolerance for harassment.

4. You have unresolved conflicts that need to be addressed.

5. You want to improve internal and external customer service.

6. You want to involve a group in creating and/or clarifying Vision, Mission, and/or Values.

7. You want to create healthier communications between people.

8. You are already doing well, but you want to move your organization or department to the next level.

9. You want to assess needs, survey opinion, or bring issues and barriers to the surface so you can move through them to greater success.

10. You want to increase sales.

William Diedrich uses a variety of presentations including speaking, discussion, small groups, dialogues, behavior styles (DISC), role plays, video, games, music, movement, and whatever helps groups to learn.

Call 517-333-0806 to inquire or write at Theroadhome@voyager.net to help your organization increase its prosperity and well-being.

Check out the web site at www.noblaming.com

It has been said that one of the greatest fears people hold is speaking in front of a group of people, yet we seem to have no shortage of public speakers. There is a kind of speaking that inspires greater fear. This is the fear of having a real conversation.

Conversation is when two or more people talk openly and honestly, listen deeply to each other, and reach a common understanding. Agreement is nice, but irrelevant. The art of conversation is not about getting someone to agree with you. It is about seeking and finding a common understanding.

The first goal in conversation is to understand the thinking of the other person. The second goal is to articulate oneís own thinking in a way the other can understand. A true conversation is blameless, non judgmental, direct, and respectful. Conversation is a way of connecting. 

Most of us are afraid of a real conversation. If we really listen to someone else, it may upset our world view, our self image, or our view of life. We might find out we were wrong. We might discover how they really feel about us. If we said what we really felt, the other person might be hurt, angry, disapproving, or judging. They might take action against us.

We are afraid of conflict. It poses a threat. We donít want to be rejected, hurt, or embarrassed. The thought of conflict provokes the flight or fight response. We either avoid or attack when we feel threatened. We tend to do everything but engage in conversation.

In our organizations and families we are starving for conversation. Blaming takes its place. Itís easier. Itís easier to tell myself how wrong you are than it is to tell you I want to have a conversation. Many will say: ìI tried that. I tried talking to that person.î Trying to get someone to see it your way is not a conversation. It is certainly important to state your preferences. In conversation you are willing to suspend your judgments and conclusions while you listen to the other person. You are willing to allow new conclusions to arise as products of your mutual understanding. 

Conversation is responsive. In it we see the other person as a real person. We accept who they are. We see past perceived differences in gender, race, ethnicity, religion, intelligence, sexual preference, economic status, age, profession, title, or background. The person with whom we are conversing  is first, and foremost, a person. You are first, and foremost, a person. 

Moving beyond blaming makes it possible to have a conversation. Occasionally I meet someone I dislike. I purposely initiate a conversation. More often than not, I come away with an appreciation for the person. The dislike I felt was in me, not in them. It was my projection.

How often do we give ourselves negative messages about others without actually talking to them? How often do our negative thoughts become self fulfilling prophecies when we treat people as if they have already offended us? How often do we refuse to hear the facts because we already have an opinion? 

When you are experiencing difficulty with others ask: ìWhat is the conversation I am having and what impact is it having on this person? How am I allowing them to affect me?î Briefly step outside yourself and observe. Ask yourself if this situation is what you want.

It is certainly okay to express your anger.  For example, you could say, ìWhen you did that, I was angry.î Conversations are not always perfectly rational. Just remember you are talking to a real person. Conversations need not be devoid of emotion. Emotion adds meaning to conversation. Maintain an awareness of your emotion and the effect it is having on your conversation. 

A lack of communication produces a void. People fill in the void with thoughts that assume blame. Insist on communicating with people. Refuse to blame them when they donít communicate with you. Refuse to be disturbed by the opinions of others. Your ability to listen and to express your truth will be influential. Is there someone you are blaming right now? Consider having a conversation. 

William Frank Diedrich is a keynote speaker, consultant, coach, and the author of three books. For speaking engagements contact him at Theroadhome@voyager.net or call at 517-333-0806.  Order books at www.noblaming.com/ or www.transformativepress.com/catalog.html

Beyond Blaming: Unleashing Power and Passion in People and Organizations will help you to:
 ï Move beyond blaming to personal empowerment
 ï  Help others move beyond blaming
 ï  Increase your power and influence in your organization
 ï  Improve the well-being of any organization, family, or group you belong to
 ï  Resolve conflicts
 ï  Help you to experience more joy and well-being in all of your relationships

Order your copies now at www.noblaming.com  All orders will ship by April 30. April orders are free of shipping charges. Beyond Blaming is being printed now as you read this newsletter.
Generous discounts are available to individuals and organizations ordering quantities. Order 12 copies and get a 25 % discount (You get 12 for the price of 9). Order 50 copies and get a 30 % discount (You get 50 for the price of 35). For more information see below!
Order at www.noblaming.com/ or www.transformativepress.com/catalog.html

We live in a universe of potentials and possibilities. Most of us were schooled in science curriculums that taught us a mechanistic view of the universe. It portrayed the earth as a thing. It said our body was a thing. Beyond this limited, mechanistic view are new ways of seeing that can impact how our organizations can develop their own potentials and possibilities.

Actually, Science over the past seventy years has come to learn that the universe isn't all mechanical. The universe really isn't just chunks of matter separated by huge gaps of empty space. In fact, matter itself is mostly space. An atom is over 99% space. Space isn't empty. It contains energy and information. The universe is not things separated by space, but it is an ongoing process. The earth is not a thing, but a living system always in process. Your body is not a thing, but a living system always in process.

Your skin cells die and are replaced every month. Your brain cells change their content of nitrogen, carbon, and oxygen every year. Each year you practically receive a new body as old cells die and new ones take their places. You do not have the same body you had a year ago.

What unseen power makes the new cells form themselves in a way that they look and function like the old ones? If parts of my body aren't working well, why aren't the new cells healthier? The answer is information. Your DNA supplies the patterns around which the new cells are formed. Physician Deepak Chopra defines a cell as: "... a memory that has built some matter around itself, forming a specific pattern. Your body is just the place your memory calls home."

Organizations are not things either. An organization is a living system, always in process. Information is the life energy of an organization. It tells the various "cells" (people, departments, teams, etc.) of the organizational body how to organize themselves. Information as energy has the potential to invigorate or to sap the people in its flow. A lack of information has an effect, too. When people do not receive information they make it up themselves, often assuming negative intentions.

Imagine streams of information flowing through your organization from a variety of origins. Imagine people taking this information and determining its meaning. Based on the meaning they create, decisions are made as to how the job gets done, what is important, and where the boundaries are. People are either energized or de-energized by the information they give and receive.

When we were children we played telephone. We whispered secrets that magically turned into something entirely different by the time the last child spoke out the message that was heard. Back then we understood that information was not a thing. It wasn't like a ball that was passed from hand to hand, still retaining its essence and form by the time it reached the end of the line. We knew that somehow information took on a life of its own, influenced by all of us.

Our mechanistic view of organizations has us putting out bits of information and expecting them to survive intact as they are sprinkled upon every employee. We find ourselves expressing frustration that others haven't listened or paid attention when results usually fall far short of our expectations. We can't understand it when people don't know things we think they should know. We think that since we have told them something, we have communicated. We fail to recognize that content is affected by context.

As leaders we need to realize that our organizations, like our bodies, are living systems always in process, always being shaped by the information that is flowing and the context in which it is communicated. When leaders do not communicate clearly and often, when they do not understand what people are thinking and feeling and therefore expressing, they cannot know what shape the organization will take. Leaders need to get out into the organization and retrieve information. What are people thinking? How do they see the organization? What do they need? Do they see leadership as effective? Do they see their work as meaningful? Do people trust each other?

We must constantly be taking the pulse of the organization, and responding to the information we receive. Information sharing needs to be both informal and formal. It is informal in every day conversation, asking people what they think, how they are doing, listening, and responding. It is formal in the forms of meetings, appraisal processes, focus groups, and surveys.

Surveys are particularly valuable in studying the information that is currently shaping the organization. Many leaders fear that offering an anonymous survey will encourage more secrecy, complaints, and blaming. Anonymous surveys done effectively, encourage openness. Survey results can be given back to all of the participants and utilized for purposes of discussion, problem solving, capitalizing on opportunities, and mutual understanding.

For example, let's say that some employees state that there are too many barriers between departments. Conversations can be shared to determine what these barriers look like and how to take them down. People can be asked to envision what they want instead. They can collaborate to take action to eliminate barriers and open the flow of information between departments.

Survey information is a snapshot in time, but not the whole story. How we respond to the survey and the followup that is taken helps to complete the story. We shpouldn't look at results and say: "This is it!". Instead we look at the data and ask: "Considering what we have so far, where is this going? What probabilities do we see in this data? What possibilities can we see? Where do we need to go with this?"

Whatever information you encounter is valuable and presents opportunities if you are willing to respond. If you resist the information (Label it as wrong; see it as something you must fight; or call it ignorant.) you will cause both you and your organization more pain. Whatever you see in the information is what you will evoke. Expect information to help you see a way to more greatness, and that is what you will find. Blame people for the nature of their information and you will create negativity. This is similar to dealing with customer complaints. Your attitude can be: "It must be your fault," or it could be, "Thank you for bringing this to my attention and allowing me to serve you better." The former creates ill will and the latter turns problems into wonderful opportunities.

Many health professionals today are helping their patients to heal by teaching them ways to change their thinking and their lifestyles. People are learning to change the messages they are sending to their bodies, often resulting in better health. As leaders we need to be in touch with the information that is flowing through our organizations. We need to be constantly transmitting healthy information in the form of vision, values, and a responsiveness to the needs and concerns of people. We need to become aware of negative and destructive information we may be sending by way of our fears and learn to send a different message. We often don't know what message we are really sending unless we ask. We need to know if people are starving for needed information and learn how we can nourish them with what they need.

An ongoing exchange of information that is both informal and formal will help your organization, as a living system, to respond more quickly and effectively to people, problems, and opportunities. It will add meaning to people's work. People will know that their thoughts and their work are valued.

A strong healthy organization is participative. It is no longer up to a few leaders to determine whether or not we succeed. It's up to all of us. People, connected by information, responsiveness to each other, and a common vision, will create, on a daily basis, meaning and value to all who are touched by the work of the organization. Your organization is, itself, a universe of potentials and possibilities waiting to be explored and utilized for the highest benefit it can offer.

What kind of information is coursing through your organization? What messages are people sharing with each other and what effect do those messages have on morale, motivation, quality, and productivity? One way to discover what's going on is to offer an organizational survey. Leadership assessments, climate surveys, and other inquiries into the state of your organization can result in valuable information. Transformative Leadership Systems offers inexpensive, customized, online surveys for your organization. Results can be utilized for leadership development, problem solving, and participative ways to increase the flow of healthy information. Write Theroadhome@voyager.net or call 517-333-0806 for more information.

Credits: This article was inspired in part by readings from the book Leadership and the New Science, by Margaret Wheatley. Specifically thanks to Margaret for reminding me about the game of telephone and teaching me about our participative, information filled Universe. Thanks also to Deepak Chopra, M.D., author of The New Physics of Healing.

Secondly, I am grateful to the creators of the movie What the Bleep Do We Know? and I suggest that you all go see it. Go to http://www.whatthebleep.com to see where it is playing. If you are as excited by it as I was you might consider my friend Philippe Matthew's free teleconference with some of the scientists who appeared in the movie. For more information on this great, free teleconference opportunity go to http://www.shockbleep.com.

Never Assume?
by William Frank Diedrich

We have all heard the old adage, "Never Assume," but, of course, we do it anyway. We run our lives on assumptions. When we drive to work we assume people on the other side of the road will stay there. We assume the paycheck will come on the expected day. We assume others will do their job or do what they say. We are always assuming. What "Never assume" really means is that we need to be aware of our assumptions and often, test them. This is of great importance to any organization that considers itself a learning organization.

Some assumptions are purely our own, and others are shared. In organizations where customers (or members, students, clients, etc.) are truly valued, it is assumed that their needs are seen as important. This assumption comes from a consistently held and communicated expectation from the leadership that customers are the primary focus. It comes from consistently addressing customer needs in a timely and effective manner. In this manner we want to build certain shared assumptions right into the mindset of our organization.

Leaders often become frustrated with others when they don't perform to expectations. Our frustration comes from our assumption that the others "should" perform well. We move from frustration to anger when we assume that the reason performance wasn't as we expected was because:
a. They didn't care.
b. They are incompetent.
c. They have their own priorities and agendas.
d. They are stubborn.
e. They didn't prepare.
f. They should have known what to do, so they were either lazy or stupid.

These are all blaming assumptions. The real problem with assumptions in organizations is that we do not share them. In other words, I make certain assumptions about you, but I don't tell you about them. For example, I ask you to complete a project by four pm. You say that it will be done. I have certain assumptions about what "done" means. Are they the same as yours? We need to make sure we agree on what "done" means. Will all signatures be on the document? Will the envelope be addressed and ready to go?

As a leader I may tell my employees to offer great customer service. What does that look like? What do I assume that means? I need to share my assumptions about customer service with examples, specifics, and parameters. You can walk into any retail store or restaurant and tell if a manager has shared his assumptions about service. When I receive poor service I know it is a failure of leadership to provide clear expectations.

How do leaders make their assumptions visible? Constant repetition helps. Constantly saying what is expected, constantly modeling it, and constantly having conversations to find out what others assume makes our assumptions visible.

Conversations have to be two way. Leaders need to be in touch with what people are assuming. What do they assume you want? What do they assume is their role in relation to customers, each other, and you? Ask them how they came to that assumption. Was it something you said? Was it something they learned somewhere else?

Most people live in their heads. They don't converse in a spirit of inquiry wanting to know about the needs, concerns, and motives of others. When we see others act, we determine needs and motives by making it up in our heads. In other words, we assume with no real basis or proof.

Today's leader needs to be a conversationalist. I don't mean lots of small talk. I mean the kind of conversation that gets at people's needs, concerns, and motives. It is the kind of conversation that builds a shared understanding. A leader can never assume that the people will do a great job unless that expectation is shared, in great detail, and discussed. Leaders sometimes say: "I don't have time to be doing all that talking with others. I'm too busy." Often they are too busy putting out fires that could have been prevented by having precise and inquiring conversations.

If we want people to perform well we need to take the guess work out of what they are doing. In my corporate life years ago, I worked for a leader who always told me how the job should have been done after I did it. He made certain assumptions about the results that he never shared with me. It became my job to ask him precisely what results he wanted. I asked him to share his assumptions and expectations. Often I disagreed with his assumptions which helped us to work out more details before the work was done.

We all make assumptions. As leaders we need to test those assumptions by asking others for their view. We need to share our assumptions so that others know what we mean. We need to offer the opportunity for others to question our assumptions. One assumption we can safely make is that no one person knows everything. If we are to create learning organizations we must recognize that we learn by sharing, testing, and challenging our assumptions about work, customers, and each other.

For information on coaching and consulting on vision and values contact William Frank Diedrich at Theroadhome@voyager.net. William Frank Diedrich is a speaker, consultant, executive coach, and the author of three books including: Beyond Blaming: Unleashing Power and Passion in People and Organizations. Bill offers a ten week e-class entitled "The Leaders' Edge Online Leadership Development Class".

Beyond Blaming: Unleashing Power and Passion in People and Organizations.

Click on the cover above for more information, and to order Beyond Blaming!

What happens when you choose to give up blaming? Power is unleashed within you. Success comes more easily. Your passion is sparked and it drives you in a positive direction. With blame out of the way, our path to success is open. We can be the powerful beings we are meant to be. Our organizations can become focused, engaged, highly competent groups that enjoy peak performance. The question is: "Are you interested and willing to be more powerful?" Are you willing to move out of the neighborhood of victimhood and into the tower of power? If you are, then you are invited on a journey to greatness - a journey beyond blaming."

William Frank Diedrich is a keynote speaker, consultant, executive coach and the author of two other books, The Road Home: The Journey Beyond the Spiritual Quick Fix, and 30 Days to Prosperity: A Workbook for Well-Being. Bill has helped Fortune 500 companies, schools, individuals, and a variety of organizations to realize their potential.

Break free of the vicious cycle of blaming Create a more powerful you Be a more effective leader Unleash your power and passion to accomplish goals   US $14.00 Beyond Blaming www.noblaming.com Transformative Press East Lansing, Michigan www.transformativepress.com Printed in the USA